premier gold browsing

My last google search was, “reese whitherspoon ex-husband.” See I remembered she was married to a famous person; I did not remember his name… Ryan Phillippe. I also did not know how to spell Witherspoon. Sometimes I get embarrassed by my google searches and I delete my history right away. I literally believe a stranger will get a hold of my phone or hack into and watch the activity on my google account, they will be able to see me ask the internet how to “lose weight but still eat,” and I will probably die mortified.  

I’m not embarrassed that my google searches are creepy, or illegal, or medically revealing. What I worry about is that people, (you know the imaginary humans who will gather and read my internet search history,) will know how stupid I am. Here is a list of my dumbest google searches in the past 90 days:

1.       Why are trees important?

2.       Spell Maintainance. (No that is not how.)

3.       Different smiles. (teeth or no teeth)

4.       Ali Wong pga. (not premier gold asians like I thought)

5.       Nick Cage hair shirt.

6.       Things cowboys say. (howdy)

7.       Mr. Peanut death.

8.       When strip clubs full judity.

9.       Jesus basketball dunk.

10.   Home alone tape recorder.

Somehow, the internet doesn’t disappoint. Yes I found out when Mr. Peanut died and when strip clubs went full nude…even though I wanted to know when they went full jude.