Don't follow me. Be Free.

I have always been rebellious in the depths of my soul. I don't know if it is a desire to break rules or more of a desire to question why the rules are being imposed upon me or others. Strongly and emphatically, I challenge when people correct words I use or how I spell, ALL WORDS ARE MADE UP GREG! I challenge when people say the Bible told them something was so, BUT WHO WROTE THE BIBLE JAN?! I quietly judge people who give too many outward compliments like… they love my outfit, my glasses, etc. Don’t get me wrong it’s sweet and I get social norms…but clothes and looks don’t make me like you, how you treat people makes me like you. I love the misfits who are a part of the friends group but like super weird shit. I like the kids who cuss awkwardly because they want to cuss but they don’t know how. I like the teens who skateboard in the street and make cars wait for their free souls to soar past. I like to see middle fingers in LITERALLY ANY situation even when it’s a cantankerous old white man who is tired of these youths talking back… I love the youths equally.

I often wonder why I joined the military with its regulation for everything in life… more importantly how am I still here and now “in charge of people”? I have such apathy for being authoritative. People tell me I’m a good fit for what the military wants…and I’m like, huh? But…but… I like the rulebreakers, I like shit talking with my friends and doodling dicks in my notebook.. I no want be boss. Being in charge is like the interested gaze of a General Officer while he is listening to the fifteenth boring briefing of the morning and he still needs to take his morning shit. Being in Charge is like carefully cleaning your eyeglasses only to push them onto your face and leave a fingerprint immediately after. Being in charge is remembering everyone’s favorite flavor of starburst but only being able to hand out half eaten yellow ones. Being in charge is constantly saying “I’m good and you?” when you really wanna say, “Fuck the establishment, burn the bitch down.”

I’m a COG in the machine I used to rage against, the kid who used to wear metal ball chains, ties, pot shirts and draw on herself with sharpies. Who got her glasses stomped on at a Sum-41 concert, who balanced on the back of a ‘not so off-roading’ pickup truck in the rubble roads of southern Iraq, made out in chaplains offices and chugged jugs of wine before skinny dipping on someone’s private beach…who am I now? and how can I tell people that their own moments of wildness are bad?

What thrills me the most about people, young people especially, is the reckless and silly shit they do FUCKING LOVING IT with AUDACITY. What is so bad about people seeking a thrill, feeling something, living?

Getting too drunk and throwing their chairs off the dorm room balconies?

Calling from jail because they got lippy with a local, oh and they don’t have shoes and lost their wallet.

Drawing cocks on bathroom stalls

Posting spicy memes to the bosses official Facebook Page

Growing a handlebar mustache under their COVID MASK

Hiding the dip cup in the wrong place and having someone pick it up and take a sip

Getting busted Vaping in the office bathroom

Giving the finger to an annoying coworker behind their back

Having pink socks on in uniform

Missing their dental appointment (because seriously, the Government is in our mouths too much…for fucks sake)

Jumping fences to see the most beautiful parts of earth

Expressing themselves with spray paint on a wall or two

Getting drunk before a tattoo and getting the ugliest fucking tat

Deleting all their email and saying “uh..I think my email is broken”

Hanging your big tiddie bitches poster on your barracks wall… shiiit I thought I was defending FREEDOM?

Pissing on cop cars when no one is around

Filming dumb Tik-Tocks with your friends, because you are kind of funny… NOT all the way funny though

To me, I only see wrong when you are a dipshit to other people… like really hurtful, if I only had to fix people who were assholes it would be easy. Right now, though? Ugh I feel like such a DORK, a hypocrite basic bitch.

You know what I did when I was 18? I joined the military and did STUPID shit. Why? Because it was fun. Now if I do fun shit, I have to plan it? And pay for it? Post it to insta? Worry about who is thinking what about me?

ADULTHOOD IS BORING AS SHIT