BEER ME, BRO

Not to brag but I’m something of a beer connoisseur, a hop head, a hop master, a hop daddie... I... I like to drink beer. The trouble is I don’t actually know anything about how beer is brewed, flavored, cooled, stored, poured or anything. Here are ten ways to convince people you know a lot about beer:

1)      Take a drink and say, “Ahhhhh cristhpy”

2)      Try phrases like, “I like the citrus undertones” or “it’s so hoppy”

3)      Drink a whole pint in 30 seconds and slam the glass down

4)      Walk up to the bar man and ask for their finest pale boy ;)

5)      Tell your comrades about the time you went to Germany and how that’s REAL beer!

6)      Take a growler of home brew out from under your trench coat and offer the manager a free sample

7)      Set up a beer pong table in the center of your local brewery, challenge the bros to a battle. Winner is King Beer

8)      Twirl your mustache, adjust your knit cap and say, “I’ll have the Dunkel, extra malt”

9)      NEVER clean the foam from your mustache… let that shit drip

10)   Tell everyone how you were drinking craft beer before it was cool, before you were alive, before Jesus himself. Now you’re over it…. then order a PBR.