What is Time?
In 1800s, Ruth Belville from London sold people time. The fucking time. Time existed, clocks existed nearly everywhere, but human people wanted her to tell them the time. This boss-lady had a strong hustle where she would “go get the right time” hop in a buggy and set her customers watches to her time. This business, I can get behind, call me Shark Tank…I’m invested.
Of course, in the 1800s women making money moves on their own grind was infuriating to people and soon after, rumors circulated….threatening to crush her commodity. St John Wynne… evil nemesis extraordinaire, was a mustache twirling tycoon over at the STANDARD TIME COMPANY who started and spread a heinous rumor that ol’ Ruthie tick tock wasn’t just selling time…. she was also selling dat ass tho. RUTH GAVE NO FUCKS and kept about her business, she said, “let that bitch ass John-boy talk his shit.” “Basically, I have Greenwich time and that’s what people want so fuck your standard time Winnie… what the does that even mean? By WHOOooMs standard is your time better? My followers list just went up because youuuu can’t keep my name out ya mouth… jokes on you Mr. Corporate Director man.”
Fast forward a couple centuries (and plenty of slanderous postulating) later and everybody IN THE WORLD is on that GMT shit… Ruth’s legacy lives on.
I know women are often erased from time because of historical male egos, but I really love a good story about a lady selling time, a relative construct we use to assign meaning to our silly little lives.
I want a hustle like this; therefore, I am now accepting suggestions for new business ideas to include but not limited to selling the subscription services of:
1. Pointing out all the parking spots that you missed and are actually closer to the restaurant
2. Coaching you on the assembly of a 100-piece puzzle *puzzle not included
3. Attending your meeting and repeating the words you just said back to you, but in the form of a question
4. Handing you extra napkins I stashed in my purse
5. Teaching you how to find and make coffee from what I find on other peoples desks during a night shift
6. Saying, “he hears you child” when you exclaim Jesus! (bonus service, free with the purchase of any other because I want to avoid eternal damnation)
7. Smiling at you when you yawn and saying BIG YAWN.
