I Nose You
I have one of those faces. It’s remarkable how often people ask me where they know me from even though I have never met them before in my life. I joke and say, “ha-ha dark hair, black glasses… it’s the Rachel Maddow effect” and still people try to pin me to a nerd girl they have met before, they will just stare and smile and then malfunction and spontaneously combust. Do you ever feel like people look at you far too often? I do, in fact, I feel someone staring at me right now and I am alone in my room with the window open. I mean, I am incredibly conceited and self-involved…yet, besides those facts, strangers make eye contact with me and gleefully smile at me REPEATEDLY throughout the day.
Wait, is it me? Am I the weirdo locking eyes and smiling like a lunatic thus triggering a polite return of pleasantries in an attempt to pacify my psychosis?!
It can’t be me.
Regardless of who is to blame for these unusual social interactions that are clearly my fault… do you ever feel like you are in a simulation? My surroundings and the people that are peripheral in my life hardly ever change. I’ve seen that chair, those shoes on that kid, I’ve deffo seen that guy with the huge Adams apple before, the girl with the floppy hat and purple knit sweater?! She’s for sure a repeat NPC, at least change the color of the sweater my dudes! If I AM in a manufactured world, I swear to God these developers are trying to give me everything I have ever wanted… everything but a boyfriend and I hate them.
Like, my kid is cool, I live in paradise, make decent cash, they made a sequel to Top Gun… what more can I ask for?? Um, how about a fucking break?!
Am I a recycled extra in the background of an ACTUAL main character’s soap opera? If so, then I hope that main character finds me soon and says, “where do I know you from?” I will have my back story all ready, I am prepared for the lead Mr. Armstein, here I am.
“Where do you know me from?” me?
I went to high school with you, you were my first kiss… don’t you remember? You, me, Jon and Jill went out driving after the big game and we were hit by an oncoming drunk driver. I dragged you out of the driver seat and cradled you in my arms until the ambulance showed up. Jon and Jill had a few scratches, but you? You were in a coma, after 4 months the doctors said in order for you to survive, you needed a new nose and I graciously donated. You woke up with amnesia, couldn’t remember me, us, anyone. You wouldn’t even look at me after a while, the triangle shaped hole in my face was too tough for many to bear. I just faded away from your life.
Well, here we are 20 years later…. You don’t remember me still?
Then- I take off my black framed glasses, with it comes my fake nose.
It’s remarxble how fast you run away from me.
Call me Groucho baby, I’m yours.
