Hate a Shy Chick

I have a Bachelor’s of Science in Psychology, obviously this makes me a fucking doctor for the human condition. A notable observation in my day-to-day interactions with patients (i.e. people I know and talk to) is just how incredibly self-involved everyone is. OMG… everyone is like, literally obsessed with their own lives what’s even up with that? You know who is the most self-involved and self-absorbed? Shy Introverts. Don’t you hate them?

Hey quiet people, what’s up with being all mysterious and introspective? So, I know we just met, but tell me what you’re thinking about, RIGHT NOW. You may think your thoughts are uninteresting or callous or perhaps very dark…but, LOL same. I want to know how weird it gets in your mind…. LET ME IN !! I mean, to be honest, as a “shyer-than-most” introvert myself I will never tell you all of my ponderings because they are extremely idiotic, and I am ACTUALLY diabolical, a markedly cringe person …so it would be disconcerting to share my inner dialogue with anyone, especially a stranger, but I do want to be plugged into the ideas of others…constantly.

I have been reflecting on my childhood as an “introverted shy girl” in a very large and very loud Mexican family and I now get why EVERYONE would walk up to younger me and say, “why are you so quiet?” They just wanted to know if I was judging them. And I was. Absolutely. I have an exceptionally rich imagination, always had. I used to devise storylines in my mind in which every single one of my relatives was a Telenovela star with their own dramatic past. I could write a series bible based on the alternate lives I gave them… but they would never know, because every time I was around them, I would sit quietly in the room and do exercises in character development. I didn’t need to assign them Telenovela names either because OF COURSE I have Maria, Christina, and Juanita in my family. 😊 Remind me to tell you about when Tia Carmen escaped an abusive husband to run into the arms of a wealthy drug lord who turned out to be even more toxic than Tequila Tio Jorge but now she was affiliated with the cartel and the only way out was to sell secrets to the American government in hopes of entering the witness protection program.

So you can see why I want to know what other shy introverts are thinking because obviously I am incredibly creative, clever, and visionary; so I imagine others are too… its just kept a secret. That is not to say that extroverts are not imaginative, creative, clever, interesting and hilarious…. of course they are… it’s just not kept secret.

What I love about social extroverted people is that they are unabashedly boisterous. If an outgoing socialite finds something hilarious, they say… ”you know what’s hilarious?!” and then say what they find funny, and that’s beautiful. They show up to parties and the attention of everyone in attendance turns to learn about what’s new in their lives, an instant captive audience, and I love that. YES TRANSPARENCY. YES HOBBY, YES MOM’S NEW VACUUM. I’m here for it. Extroverts are sharing and caring, they think about other people in a way that says, OF COURSE you want to know more about me… I’m fabulous. AND THEY FUCKING ARE. I care about your children that I have never met and what summer programs they are enrolled in, because I have never even heard of theater camp. I do want to hear you ask that West-African waitress how to pronounce her name three times because you are trying and you won’t cower and call her ma’am (because she’s 20.) I am such a fan of how you can meet a stranger in the wild and then 10 minutes later I find you fist bumping at the bar with them because Greg loves this song, and you also love this song!

I secretly love that song too, I have learned all the words… in fact I made up an alternate version to the song which makes no sense at all except to make me chuckle, but I won’t tell you about it unless we become really close. I need to feel accepted and at peace in the space in which I let my weirdness out. If you have ever seen me playfully singing random lyrics to songs… then congratulations, you have set an environment welcoming to this introvert. Maybe that’s the key. We need to make comfortable sharing spaces for those selfish introverts to share their absurdities.

OMG is that why bars are getting quieter? Wait… are people trying to get us talking more? #suspiciouseyes